April 22, 2003

I am on the horns of a dilemma.

If I take the straight guy who has been flirting mercilessly with me for a month out tonight for a drink, I will have to spend a significant portion of the evening in a bar, which activity is only slightly more appealing to me than spending an evening, say, playing poker with the board of directors of the NRA. If he is tipsy, however, he might be more inclined to succumb to my advances.

If I take him out for ice cream, on the other hand, he might be less inclined to succumb to my advances, but I will get ice cream out of the deal.

Talk about being on the horns of a dilemma.

Maybe I should ask his wife what she thinks I should do.

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13 Responses to I am on the horns

  1. playonwords says:

    When in doubt, go for the one that offers dairy-based goodness.

    That doesn’t rhyme, but it’s still very good advice, anyways.

  2. bob says:

    ice cream w/ roofie sprinkles

  3. An avid reader says:

    In my experience, if the straight married man agrees to go out in the first place, it won’t take long before HE’S advancing upon YOU.

    I’ve also found (and I hope this doesn’t disappoint you) that straight married men are the biggest bottoms in the world.

    Good luck.

  4. Jon says:

    Duh. Invite him over to your place. Then you can have cocktails, ice cream, and a bed ready so that you’re prepared for anything.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Go for drinks.

  6. Too late for advice, I suppose, but I hope someone had his legs over his head at the end of the evening. (Even if it can’t be me…)

  7. angelo says:

    I am so incredibly jealous I can hardly see straight.

    Speaking of straight, does he have children?

  8. Thanks, everybody, for the advice. In the event, it turned out not to be necessary–or, at least, not to be necessary last night–for reasons that I’ll explain in my next post.

    Angelo, I will never understand your seemingly unshakable preference for questionably straight men. Where does that leave you and me?

  9. Joe says:

    The only thing more tragic than closeted ‘straight’ men, are the fags that eroticize them.

  10. Akasha says:

    As a straight woman, I can see the appeal of crossing the sexual orientation lines.. the forbidden fruit.. *rawr*.

    Get him nice and sloshed then pork him.

  11. Joe, you are very kind to say so.

  12. Farid says:

    The attraction for unavailable men…so many of us suffer from that..men and women. I realized that it was my dad I was chasing when I pursued all those straight men…especially the ones pushing baby carriages.

  13. Maddy says:

    I love the word ‘succumb’


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