On July 14, 1980, my father sent the following letter to one of Charleston, South Carolina’s two daily papers.
Even though you probably get lots of criticism, there are still some of us out here who stick up for you. Whenever my friends say, “Have you seen today’s editorial? It’s the dumbest thing they’ve ever printed,” (which happens about every two days), I always read it and say, “No, it’s not the dumbest thing they’ve ever printed.”
Just thought you’d like to know.
They printed it the next day, under the headline “Faint Praise.”
In 1996, I plagiaristically sent the same letter to my college’s excuse for a newspaper. They, too, printed it the next day, but edited it so that it read, in part, “Have you seen today’s [Name of Paper] editorial? It’s the dumbest thing it’s ever printed,” thereby both ruining the joke and making me look like a stylistic barbarian.
O tempora! O mores!
Have you seen today’s “Search for Love in Manhattan”?
Since the time my college’s excuse for a newspaper decided to plaster me on their front page looking like a dysentery victim holding a vulgar anti-homophobia banner, I’ve learned that journalists of any sort are as sadistic as dental hygienists.
My favorite headline from my college newspaper was: “[Name of Said University] Scientists Trace Global To Sun.” To think I still owe these people money…
See? That’s what I get for being a smart-ass. The actual headline read “[Name of Said University] Scientists Trace Global WARMING To Sun.” Of course, now I’ve completely killed the humor, so …
Nice Ciecero reference at the end. Hope I spelled Marcus T.’s last name correctly. If not I have certainly earned your distain in aeternum.
Bastards. Kill them all.
I did.
I recently discovered your blog and I absolutely love it.
I’ve been a having a tough couple of days this week (mildly serious family health crisis dealy with my father-in-law – yikes, how’s that for “reader’s digest condensed” – sorry!) and reading your blog totally made me smile. I love the way you write! Just felt that I should let you know!!
Peggy
Peggy, I’m glad I could help. Luckily, you have on your side America’s excellent health care system, dependable and available to all, regardless of income, class, or race.
Oh, wait.
Actually, we’re in Canada so we do have exactly that kind of health care system (if you don’t mind waiting in emerg for 12 hours for it to kick in!) Thanks!!!
In the spirit of admiration that Peggy just started, can I just add that you’ve secured the straight British bloke vote? Not that I speak for all of them, but if they’ve any sense they’ll agree with me.
You have a must-read blog here, sir. Keep it up.