December 4, 2002

As a service to my loyal readers, I would like to point out that virtually any statement or question in English can be turned into a come-on by the addition of the word “sailor” to the end. For example:

“Do you know what time it is, sailor?”

“A stitch in time saves nine, sailor.”

“I’m rereading the complete works of Jane Austen, sailor.”

Until a few days ago, I believed that this method could turn any statement or question into a come-on; this belief was shattered, however, when my friend R.A. came up with:

“I’ve just been diagnosed with Legionnaire’s Disease, sailor.”

If there are people who would be aroused by hearing this, I can only hope I never ever meet them.

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