December 4, 2002

As a service to my loyal readers, I would like to point out that virtually any statement or question in English can be turned into a come-on by the addition of the word “sailor” to the end. For example:

“Do you know what time it is, sailor?”

“A stitch in time saves nine, sailor.”

“I’m rereading the complete works of Jane Austen, sailor.”

Until a few days ago, I believed that this method could turn any statement or question into a come-on; this belief was shattered, however, when my friend R.A. came up with:

“I’ve just been diagnosed with Legionnaire’s Disease, sailor.”

If there are people who would be aroused by hearing this, I can only hope I never ever meet them.

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7 Responses to As a service to my

  1. Jen says:

    Um, i think you forgot to close your italics properly in this post…

  2. Tina says:

    I agree with Jen 😉

  3. D.R. says:

    “I agree with Jen, sailor.”

    There is nothing vaguely come-onny about that, either. 🙂

  4. I don’t see the come-on value in the latter couple of examples, either. Methinks you’re overgeneralizing.

  5. Faustus, MD says:

    Strange–on my computer the italics are fine. What browser and operating are people using for whom they’re strange?

    As for not seeing the come-on value–try saying them in a sultry voice with a beguiling facial expression. You’ll see.

    Or perhaps I’m just too quick to see the come-on value in anything. . . .

  6. etienne esteban says:

    Just for the record, sailor, once you hit the word “any”, everything is italicized from that point on, including all your previous entires. Which effectively, sailor, makes your entire blog, sailor, read as one big come on. Which, come to think of it, is not that far from the truth. Sailor.

  7. Faustus, MD says:

    Okay. Italics should be fixed now, sailors.


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