November 8, 2002

Yesterday I got my hair cut by Jazz at Dramatics, NYC. I have had my hair cut at Dramatics, NYC four times, by a different person each time: Sunshine, Eagle, Justice, and Jazz. I think it’s the worst thing ever that they don’t even let these people have their own names.

But the reason I go to Dramatics, NYC—a serviceable but by no means excellent salon—is because I am terrified to go back to the place I used to get my hair cut.

When I lived on the Upper East Side, I went to Eve’s Hair and Nails, on 92nd and 1st. Eve was an East German post-operative male to female transsexual. She was the only one who cut hair there and she took forever. A simple cut took at least two hours—she would cut a little bit, talk on the phone, cut a little bit more, do some crystal meth, cut a little bit more. My friend N.C. and I went there together once—he to get his hair highlighted and I to get mine relaxed—and it took her four hours. I don’t know how she kept the place open; I assume it was a front for a lucrative drug-dealing business.

After I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch, a show about another East German post-operative male to female transsexual, I went to get my hair cut and asked her what she had thought of it. “Ach, I hated zat show,” she sneered. “It vass not an accurate representation off my life.”

She gave me the best hair cuts I’ve ever gotten. But she was so glamorous and cool that whenever I went, I was so keenly aware of my own inadequacy as a gay man it was almost unbearable. Next to her, I felt about as interesting and compelling as a Necco Wafer or a plastic-covered living room couch. This feeling would persist for hours, sometimes days, after a haircut.

It was a cruel dilemma I faced yesterday: have fabulous hair and lose my already tentative grasp on my sense of self-worth, or maintain some shred of self-esteem but have boring hair?

I think I made the coward’s choice.

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6 Responses to Yesterday I got my hair

  1. PatCH says:

    What’s so wrong with a plastic-covered living room couch? In fact, I think I’m going to buy me one right now.

    Then again, I do have some Saran Wrap somewhere in my kitchen…

  2. ed k. says:

    Yes, you did make the cowards choice. If homosexuality had taught us anything, it’s this: Having fantastic hair is worth the ultimate sacrifice. Barring this, then one must re-prioritize and strive for having a fantastic look.

  3. marquito says:

    Yes, Hedvig. The movie I bought that I wish I hadn’t. It was good, but not what I expected. It’s okay to be you. Don’t worry about Hedwig, Eve, or anyone else. Some people might look at your life and feel their own “inadequacies” as gay, bi, or straight men. The good thing is you are your own person and you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else to feel good about who you are–whether you go to Dramatics of Eve’s.

  4. marquito says:

    -f +r

  5. Choire says:

    See what your bad choices have led you to?

    Umm, you got your hair relaxed?

  6. sam says:

    Is she expensive? Do you need an appointment?


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