November 6, 2002

My contractor has ripped my kitchen out. Now, where there used to be a kitchen, there is an empty, gaping void.

I’m worried that my soul is next.

I’m also worried that I’ll have to give up forever my fantasy of being ravished on the kitchen counter by the UPS guy. Because when I have a kitchen counter again, it will be marble, which seems like a terrible surface on which to be ravished.

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6 Responses to My contractor has ripped my

  1. PatCH says:

    My contractor is currently in the process of ripping out my bathroom. And my living room. And my bedroom. But not my kitchen. So I still have a few places for ravioli.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Important to note, however, that it is relatively easy to clean post-ravishment residue from marble.

    Vote Marble 2004

  3. Sidian says:

    Natural materials are always better than man-made materials. (Formica burns after awhile.)

  4. Actually marble isn’t that bad….linoleum though…ouch

  5. LEE says:

    The wooden butcher block is best. Just make sure you remove the knives and never prepare food there again. It is also height appropriate.

  6. elisabeth says:

    Wouldn’t be refreshingly cool to the touch? 🙂


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