October 13, 2002

The world according to Goblin Foo Uvula.

Me me me! It’s me!

*lick lick lick lick lick lick*

Uncle Faustus is taking a break from his search for love in Manhattan and said I could write in his blog. Me me me! He said I’m searching for love in Manhattan too. But I kinda found it because his dog A. is my lesbian lover. She’s bi.


Uncle Faustus never mentions A. but he knit her a sweater in the shape of a dinosaur. My daddy never knits me sweaters. Daddy sometimes takes me to the park but not today because he hurt his foot. Daddy says that Uncle Faustus is a bossy bottom even though he only knows because Uncle Faustus told him and not from real life. Daddy sleeps with Uncle Bobby. Sometimes he makes me go in my crate and all kinds of noise happens outside and I don’t know what’s going on.

What’s a bossy bottom?

A. says she knows but she won’t tell me so I don’t think she really knows. A. doesn’t have a crate but she has a bag.

*yawn snork growl*

I know all kinds of secrets people don’t think I know but I know them. I have my own blog with my daddy but he almost never lets me write even though he named it after me. I’m the only Boston terrier with an advice column but I’d trade it all for a sweater shaped like a dinosaur.


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