Last night I went to my first sex club. The differences between a sex club and an orgy are as follows:
1) at a sex club, you don’t introduce yourself to someone before you put parts of his body in your mouth; and
2) the snacks available for when you’re taking a break are far less high-classindividually wrapped pieces of candy rather than cheese and crackers and cold cuts. Though of course I would be terrified of any cheese, crackers, or cold cuts offered to me at a sex club. So it’s probably just as well.
To my delight, I was perceived to be one of the cool people almost as soon as I arrived, and lots of guys wanted to play with me. Unfortunately, I was, um, saddled with somebody who didn’t want to share. Now, it’s awkward enough as it is to tell an adult, “All right, you’ve played with the toy enough, now let others have a turn.” When you are the toy in question, however, eager for others to have a turn, the situation becomes even more difficult.
And he wanted to spoon and cuddle with me afterwards.
What I thought: “Are you CRAZY? This is a SEX CLUB. Do you think we’re on a DATE? What PLANET are you from?”
What I said: “Oh, okay, sure, whatever you want.”
Clearly I need to work on this expressing my needs thing.