Welcome to my website. I'm Joel Derfner, a composer and writer in New York City. I also am or have been a knitter, step aerobics instructor, cheerleader, and go-go boy. 
By clicking on the links in the sidebar to the right you can take advantage of the release of my new book, Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever, to gain access to secret knowledge or win free things. By scrolling down this page, you can enter the First Annual Gay-Off.
I hope you enjoy the time you spend here. Don't hesitate to get in touch with me if you 1) have any questions or 2) want to help fill the gaping maw of my need for approval by telling me you think I'm smart, funny, or attractive.
Are you gay enough?
Enter the
SWISH: MY QUEST TO BECOME THE GAYEST PERSON EVER
FIRST ANNUAL GAY-OFF
and find out!
In the introduction to Swish I explain that my quest to become the gayest person ever did not turn out to be an unqualified success—which means that the position of the Gayest Person Ever is still open. If you're interested in competing, e-mail me a brief explanation (up to 100 words) of why you should be crowned this year's Gayest Person Ever. Note, please, that in order to enter you do not have to be gay or even, I suppose, a person. The Gayest Person Ever describes an existential state, irrespective of plumbing and flavor.
The last day to send in entries is Tuesday, June 10. On Friday the 13th, I'll post the top five entries (as determined by an independent panel of judges) on my website, and from then through the end of Gay Pride (Sunday, June 29) you can vote for your favorite.
At the moment I'm planning prizes as follows: the Grand Prize is an inscribed copy of Swish, an inscribed copy of my first book, Gay Haiku, a Swish T-shirt, a gay haiku written for the winner, and, depending on geographic location, a tin of homemade brownies made with loving care by me. Second prize is an inscribed copy of Gay Haiku, a Swish T-shirt, a gay haiku written for the winner, and a tin of brownies slightly inferior to the tin the Grand Prize winner gets. Third prize is a Swish T-shirt, a gay haiku written for the winner, and a tin of brownies slightly inferior to the tin the Second Prize winner gets. However, the actual prizes may be different from this, like if I eat the brownies or something.
Good luck, and may the Gayest Person Ever win!
Events in 2008
Sunday, May 4—Palm Springs, CA
Palm Springs Book Festival
Palm Springs High School
2401 East Baristo Road
11:30-1:00
Campy Personified: Gay Influence on American Popular Culture
Panel discussion and book signing
Saturday, May 10—DList Radio
8:00-10:00
Interview with Daniel Nardicio
Tuesday, May 13—New York, NY
Barnes & Noble
396 Avenue of the Americas (@ 8th Street)
7:30-9:00
Reading, discussion, and book signing
Sunday, May 18—New York, NY
New York University
Graduate Musical Theater Writing Department
(closed event)
3:00-4:00
Reading and book signing
Monday, May 19—West Hollywood, CA
A Different Light
8853 Santa Monica Boulevard
7:30-9:00
Reading, discussion, and book signing
Tuesday, May 20—Long Beach, CA
Barnes & Noble
6326 East Pacific Coast Highway
7:30-9:00
Reading, discussion, and book signing
Thursday, May 22—San Francisco, CA
Books, Inc. in the Castro
2275 Market Street
7:30-9:00
Reading, discussion, and book signing
Thursday, May 29—West Hartford, CT
Public Library
20 South Main Street
7:30-8:30
Reading and discussion followed by
Barnes & Noble
Blue Back Square
60 Isham Road
8:30-9:00
Book signing
Tuesday, June 17—Jackson Heights, NY
Public Library
35-51 81st Street
6:30-8:00
Reading, discussion, and book signing
Thursday, June 19—New York, NY
Drunken! Careening! Writers!
KGB Bar
85 East 4th Street
7:00
Reading
