I just got off the phone with E.S. (I am still in Chicago) and he says he is very sick.
He is not actually very sick. I mean, he feels like hell, but it’s just a one-day virus that’s going around the floor of the hospital where he works. This means that he has turned into a giant, whining baby. He has also decided, in the apparently common manner of doctors-in-training, that what he has is in fact not a one-day virus but cholera.
I am going home on Tuesday but in the meantime I said I would tell everybody he has cholera so that he could have lots of sympathy.
I have some dreadful news to report. E.S. has cholera. I’m sure he would appreciate any sympathy you can direct his way.
aw…
Cholera is bad but Ebola is worse. Having had neither, but nevertheless managing to contract malaria on a safari, I can attest to the discomfort of certain notorious diseases. As the Monty Python boys said “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” – or cholera for that matter.
Your genius just blows me away. Always. That was hilarious.
Upon your return claim you have Labyrinthitis.
Both of my kids occasionally had cholera when they were babies. Fortunately, they outgrew it. You can either put E.S. over your shoulder and rock him or take him for a drive. That always worked for me, but other people have achieved better results by putting the baby boyfriend on top of the washer during the spin cycle. Apparently the vibrations are soothing.
He doesn’t have cholera; he’s just choleric.
I gather that the “you may use HTML tags for style” doesn’t extend to the strike tag. I’m almost certain that I put some around “baby.” Alas.
He has a collar on? Well, what you kids do in the privacy of your home is none of our business. Unless you want to share pictures.
Good heavens! Be sure to tell him that cholera is terribly contagious, so for your own safety, he and his penis need to stay away from you for at least several weeks.
The important thing is, how’d he get it? Is this one of those licking diseases?