Yesterday, I went to Philadelphia for the evening to see a show playing there. This was noteworthy not only because I got to see two friends I hadn’t seen in a while (one who lives there and one who turned out to be the musical director of the show) but also because it was the first time I’d ever taken the Chinatown bus, a service that will get you from one major city’s Chinatown to another’s for a very low fee.
The trip down was uneventful.
The trip back up involved multiple movie screens on the bus, all showing Executive Decision, a movie starring both Kurt Russell and Steven Seagal. Furthermore, though my instinct for self-preservation impelled me to sleep through the movie, I was prevented from doing so by the three fags who screamed the whole time (at the screen, at each other, at people on the other ends of cell phones). Understand that this left Philadelphia’s Chinatown at 11:00 p.m. and got into New York’s Chinatown after 1:00 a.m.
Time was I would have been able to take this in stride.
But I turn 31 in just over a week, and I’m looking forward to taking my place in society as a crotchety and cantankerous old man.
Oh sweetie, there’s more than enough of them already. And 31’s way too young to be cranky.
The crotchety, cantankerous old man demographic is one which is constantly being swept away by the scythe of death, and is always looking for new recruits.
Kurt Russell and and Steven Seagal ?
Crotchety and cantankerous? That’s my territory, hon. Just be your own wonderfully neurotic self. It’s why we love you.
And if 31 is old, what does that make 34?
31?! Ah? I… I thought Faustus is 19!!!
Ha! As you know, I live with the Master of Crotchets and Curmudgeonry, and frankly you’ll have to get a lot less delightful to compete at the international level with the likes of him.
There’s a waiting list for cantakerous. Crotchety has plenty of openings.