July 15, 2003

The captain of the cheerleading squad told me last night that there are a lot of really small flyers (see this post for an explanation of the positions on the squad) trying out—enough to give us more flyers than bases next season—and that I’m therefore not going to be a flyer.

And they’re eliminating the position of mid base flyer.

Which means I’m going to be a base. And a more or less useless base, since I’m too small to throw anybody up in the air.

After having felt how glorious it is to fly, even in my limited capacity as mid base flyer, I’m now going to be permanently earthbound.

I don’t know that I can bear it.

I have at least a passing familiarity with eight languages, and I don’t know a word in any of them that describes how bad I feel.

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12 Responses to The captain of the cheerleading

  1. Tin Man says:

    But… but… this means you’re going to be in the bottom position. I thought that was what you liked?

    Reply
  2. Adam807 says:

    Well at least now you won’t break your hand again. Um…probably…

    Reply
  3. Anonymous #7 (on dialup) says:

    *hug* for Faustus.

    Reply
  4. Jeff says:

    I know this was an aside in this post, but — eight languages? Wow, I’m impressed.

    Reply
  5. jason says:

    you have no idea who i am, which, interestingly enough, will change shortly. my friend (because he’s obsessed with reading online journals/blogs and stalking people he’s never met or seen) directed me to your site, i dunno, ’cause you’re gay and in ny and a cheerleader. imagine my surprise to discover that you cheer for cheer ny — my being one of the would-be initiates, although you have nothing to worry about from me, as my feet are securely planted on the ground and that’s where they are going to stay. anyway, just wanted to say hi and i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, although we won’t actually know one another. exciting.

    Reply
  6. Wayne says:

    Awe Faustus – poor baby. I guess you will just have to kill all the bi*hes that come to trying out. Sooner or later, there will be a shortage on flyers. Then you will have your chance.

    Need a hand?

    Reply
  7. Alex Elliott says:

    Just how small are you? I may be wizened and hideous, but I can still wear boys’ sizes in jeans.

    Reply
  8. Tin Man, unfortunately it’s not quite the same. Adam807, I’ll still be tumbling, so I have just as much chance of breaking my hand again as I would otherwise, if not more, since I’ll probably be doing more tumbling. Anonymous #7 (on dialup), is that all I get? A hug? Jeff, don’t be so impressed. I’ve forgotten virtually everything in four of the eight except how to say things like, “Excuse me, may I come in? It’s me, Olga. I have some bread.” Jason, I will go to the clinic tomorrow night with bated breath. And Alex, I hate you. Though I do wear boys’ sizes in shirts, I wear size 28 jeans.

    Reply
  9. tim says:

    Uhhhhh… I would wipe out any tribe for a 28 inch waist. Boo hoo for you. I hate all you skinny boys. There; I’ve said it.

    Reply
  10. I’ll whack some knees for you honey….you’ll be flyin’ in no time!

    Reply
  11. Anonymous #7 (on dialup) says:

    Okay, okay. You can lay your head in my lap. And, yes, I am happy to see and feel you there. Are you?

    Reply
  12. It’s a start.

    Reply

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