Monthly Archives: October 2008

October 24, 2008

Oh, Jay, Jay, not you, too!


What is this world coming to?

Just you wait. Next it’ll be Tim Gunn who’s putting apostrophes where they don’t belong, and I will have to blow my brains out.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 4 Comments

October 23, 2008

I was on the phone with my father the other day talking about the upcoming election and he said, “Faustus, you’ve never been this fired up about politics before.”

I said, “That’s because I’ve never had hope about politics before.”

Ronald Reagan became the president of the United States when I was seven two; my entire adolescent and adult life has been spent watching my country sink lower and lower (with a plateau during the Clinton years). But now I’m excited.

Please, please, please, God. Please.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 10 Comments

October 22, 2008

Last night I dreamed that, after she and I sank on the Titanic, my dog established a colony on the ocean floor and that she ruled over it peacefully for decades. After a long and satisfying period of peace and prosperity, she stepped down and passed the crown to her daughter but remained in the colony in an advisory capacity. My dog’s daughter did the same when her time to step down came. The colony was populated mostly by bugs, but they were cute bugs, not icky bugs. Many times hordes of icky enemy bugs attacked the colony, but my dog and her descendants made consistently good decisions and always ended up absorbing the icky enemy bugs into the colony and making them into cute bugs. I was there the whole time but obviously I recognized that it would be folly to interfere with my dog’s wise governmental choices. When our friend Y. showed up, we realized that it was time to go, and my dog’s last words to the colony were that its members should support all things in their natural course and particularly that the plastic forks should be allowed to mate with the plastic spoons and that in fact all the plastic flatware should be allowed to mate with anybody else, because it would only strengthen the colony in the end.

Then we set off with our friend Y. on the path to our next adventure.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 15 Comments

October 7, 2008

We have now broken the national debt clock (thanks to Joemygod for the link.)

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 5 Comments

October 5, 2008

Okay, this is ridiculous.

I’ve been all over the web for hours and I can’t find it.

Where is the Obama/McCain slash fic?

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 12 Comments

October 1, 2008

A generous soul shared this in the comments on yesterday’s post, and it’s simply too delicious not to publicize. I sense an M. Night Shyamalan sequel in the offing, but actually scary this time.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 3 Comments