Monthly Archives: March 2008

It turns out I was right in the first place.

In a section of the book in which I discuss my (theoretical) future wedding appears the following sentence:

“I’d book the Basilica di San Marco for the event if I could, but I do not hold out much hope that the Patriarch of Venice His Eminence Angelo Cardinal Scola will be easily won over.”

The problem, as I found out yesterday, is that, while “His Eminence” is of course the correct third-person form of address for a regular cardinal, it is not the correct form of address for a cardinal who is also a patriarch. In such a case the correct form of address is “His Beatitude.”

You can see the source of my despair.

Earlier today, however, while procrastinating with respect to hanging myself, I was IMing with a friend who happened to be at the home of a Catholic friend who happened (I’m not kidding) to have on his shelf a copy of the New Catholic Encyclopedia.

And it turns out that “His Beatitude” is correct only for an Eastern-Rite patriarch. And since Venice is obviously a Latin-Rite patriarchate, Angelo Cardinal Scola is obviously referred to as “His Eminence.” Calling him “His Beatitude” is in fact probably a heresy so vile as to be grounds for burning at the stake.

It took me a few hours to get around to posting about it because I’ve spent the day sobbing with relief.

Whew. That was a close call.

My life is over.

I was in a Wikipedia hole earlier today and came across something that made me realize that there’s a mistake in Swish. Not a typo, not a misprint, but an actual factual error. The time when it could be fixed has long gone.

Now, it’s not the kind of thing many people will notice, as it involves a very obscure variation of a somewhat obscure custom in an obscure field.

Actually, it’s possible that no one will notice, because the few people who know about the very obscure variation are not the kind of people who are likely to read my book.

And besides, since I’ll be arranging for every one of them to meet with an unfortunate accident between now and May 13 (the book’s release date), everything will probably turn out okay.

At one point this weekend, E.S. came into the room to see me finishing the last of a bag of Chocolate Turtle Chex Mix.

E.S.: Hey, I wanted some of that!
FAUSTUS (chewing): So?
E.S.: Okay, that’s it. Now you have to make me lunch.
(FAUSTUS gnaws on E.S.’s arm.)
FAUSTUS: There, you’re lunch.
E.S.: You’re an asshole.
FAUSTUS: I’d rather be an asshole than lunch.
E.S.: Oh, my God.

Just in case you’re one of the three people who hasn’t already seen this.