Monthly Archives: February 2007

February 23, 2007

For those of us delighted by the publicity stills of Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, here is another one that, inexplicably, hasn’t received as much play. It is most definitely not safe for work. I am no computer maven, so I cannot swear it has not been altered, but it seems genuine enough to me.

I would like to point out, by the way, that in real life I am so not interested in younger men. When it comes to anything but the vaguest and most fleeting of fantasies, I’m like, ew, if you didn’t see The Dark Crystal in the theater, get away from me.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 18 Comments

February 18, 2007

It occurs to me that, during one of the exercises I have my students perform from time to time, I do end up saying “Bring your knees closer to your chest.”

Unfortunately, given my proclivities, this doesn’t help me at all.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 16 Comments

February 14, 2007

Okay, I need some help here.

There is a guy who has started coming to the body-sculpting class I teach on Monday afternoons who is my soul mate. I’ve never actually spoken to him, but it’s clear to me that we are destined to be together (sorry, E.S.). All I need to do is let him know that the yearning he undoubtedly feels for me is reciprocated, and he will sweep me up in his arms and carry me away to eternal bliss.

The problem is that, since it’s a body-sculpting class, I am limited as far as appropriate language to sentences like “During this exercise, don’t let your hands fall below shoulder level” and “Check yourself in the mirror to make sure your back is flat” and “Make sure you’re supporting yourself above the knee rather than on it.”

So how do I tell him I love him speaking only in terms of his musculoskeletal system?

Remember that this will be in a large room filled with twenty other people, mostly women, doing the same exercises.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 20 Comments