Monthly Archives: November 2006

November 27, 2006

On Thanksgiving it transpired that I had unwittingly bought myself an item E.S. had intended to give me as a Christmas gift. Last night we had the following conversation:

E.S.: So what should I give you for Christmas now that you ruined my idea?
FAUSTUS: I don’t know.
E.S.: I’ll give you a dozen roses.
FAUSTUS: Will they be made of gold?
E.S.: Roses aren’t made of gold.
FAUSTUS: These ones better be, if they’re what you’re giving me for Christmas.
E.S.: Why are you so materialistic?
FAUSTUS: Because things are wonderful.
E.S.: What about our love?
FAUSTUS: Well, that’s nice too.
E.S.: Isn’t that enough?
FAUSTUS: It’s enough for love. But I want love and things.
E.S.: That’s it. I’m getting you something from the lump of coal catalogue.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 11 Comments

November 23, 2006

I realize that there are many things in the world for which I might want to give thanks. The recent defeat of the Republicans in the Congressional elections, the time I’ll spend with my family when they come here later today for what I hope will be a delectable feast, the love of E.S. and my dog A.

But really all I can think about is how thankful I am for Melrose on Top Model.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 7 Comments

November 15, 2006

Last night, E.S. and I had the following conversation:

FAUSTUS (after E.S. has impugned his cleaning skills): You’re an asshole.
E.S.: You’re an asshole.
FAUSTUS: I am not.
E.S.: I am not.
E.S.: Hmph.
FAUSTUS: Stop copying me.
E.S.: Stop copying me.
FAUSTUS: Faustus is a gorgeous, brilliant genius.
E.S.: Faustus is a poopyhead.


FAUSTUS: You’re an asshole.

Then we had sex.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 16 Comments

November 10, 2006

Yesterday, in east midtown, I actually heard one man say to his companion, “Whoa, get a load of the tits on that chick.”

I have done what I can to ensure that I lead a life sheltered from heterosexuality, but obviously I need to redouble my efforts.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 8 Comments

November 8, 2006

Actually, no, Oedipus the Movie is even funnier. It’s Oedipus, in eight minutes, performed by vegetables. You need the sound on, especially as the score is pretty terrific.

In other news, is it really possible that we are taking the reins of government back from the evil usurping overlords?

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 4 Comments

November 4, 2006

“We couldn’t keep our dog’s addiction a secret any longer,” Laura Mirsch says. “The neighbors all knew that Lady was a drug addict, and soon the other dogs weren’t allowed to play with her.”

Go here to read and listen to the funniest thing I have come across in a long, long time.

Posted on by Joel Derfner | 6 Comments